Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
