haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
