There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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