i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
