You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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