you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
