Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
