Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Blood and glitter go together right?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
