My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
