I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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