i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
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