Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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