Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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