Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
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We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
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He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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