I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
