hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
