so that wasnt chicken after all
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
