they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
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I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
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That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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