well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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