Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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