take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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