and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
