I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Randomize
