The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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