Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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