Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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