The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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