break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
