it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
