Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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