she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
