This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
