then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He had one of those small greek statue penises
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
