I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
