Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game