just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
