i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better not be in your backpack
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize