i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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