I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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