I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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