Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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