Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize