2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize