Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
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