I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
