If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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