I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
