u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
It's just like the Real World with babies
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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