Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee