Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.

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(832): i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life. http://tfl.nu/zh94

Replies (51) Good night (4822) Bad night (519)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid

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(630): I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid http://tfl.nu/l9sh

Replies (10) Good night (2828) Bad night (1169)
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(253): View more from Washington

To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song

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(253): To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song http://tfl.nu/rtr4

Replies (17) Good night (2549) Bad night (786)
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(804): View more from Virginia

you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning

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(804): you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning http://tfl.nu/f3jq

Replies (33) Good night (9707) Bad night (821)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line

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(201): i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line http://tfl.nu/rmxl

Replies (51) Good night (10413) Bad night (1490)
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(740): View more from Ohio

He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over

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(740): He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over http://tfl.nu/br0o

Replies (41) Good night (1198) Bad night (2865)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.

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(860): He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days. http://tfl.nu/v2o4

Replies (18) Good night (5390) Bad night (962)
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(559): View more from California

I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?

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(559): I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad? http://tfl.nu/uj0t

Replies (5) Good night (708) Bad night (1926)
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(949): View more from California

He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick

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(949): He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick http://tfl.nu/ka5e

Replies (20) Good night (1679) Bad night (743)
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(916): View more from California

She said she liked strap-ons.

(1-916): View more from California

SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!

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(916): She said she liked strap-ons. (1-916): SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER! http://tfl.nu/41v6

Replies (14) Good night (2886) Bad night (631)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.

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(630): Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago. http://tfl.nu/3f70

Replies (5) Good night (3165) Bad night (620)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.

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(402): I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night. http://tfl.nu/7j2p

Replies (3) Good night (476) Bad night (1180)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells

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(978): I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells http://tfl.nu/uff7

Replies (3) Good night (798) Bad night (648)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.

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(704): You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player. http://tfl.nu/yxi1

Replies (2) Good night (332) Bad night (274)
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(805): View more from California

I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water

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(805): I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water http://tfl.nu/4hod

Replies (2) Good night (1068) Bad night (307)

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