Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
