why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.