we're chasing vodka with high fives
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin