At least make sure they are 18
Why
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize
