Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Yes. For all mankind please do.

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  (512): The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her? (319): Yes. For all mankind please do. http://tfl.nu/4jly
  Replies (49) Good night (4662) Bad night (615)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.

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  (907): I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are. http://tfl.nu/tm8o
  Replies (36) Good night (3525) Bad night (861) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.

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  (914): Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart. http://tfl.nu/xtrr
  Replies (13) Good night (3412) Bad night (909) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.

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  (515): he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants. http://tfl.nu/e70d
  Replies (31) Good night (634) Bad night (4751) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts

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  (716): i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts http://tfl.nu/g5xn
  Replies (44) Good night (4907) Bad night (888) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?

  (214): View more from Texas

  Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?

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  (903): u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird? (214): Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb? http://tfl.nu/cbow
  Replies (87) Good night (1574) Bad night (4969)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life

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  (304): you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life http://tfl.nu/wcmr
  Replies (12) Good night (5840) Bad night (662) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.

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  (402): Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR. http://tfl.nu/vjij
  Replies (25) Good night (7180) Bad night (729) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her

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  (570): you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her http://tfl.nu/jaz5
  Replies (39) Good night (8377) Bad night (1238) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.

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  (214): That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed. http://tfl.nu/6ncx
  Replies (5) Good night (4391) Bad night (768) Order T-Shirt
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.

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  (580): Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me. http://tfl.nu/8lxk
  Replies (10) Good night (2229) Bad night (1101) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.

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  (707): She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love. http://tfl.nu/is4u
  Replies (17) Good night (4551) Bad night (779) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.

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  (651): I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won. http://tfl.nu/jvx1
  Replies (1) Good night (822) Bad night (298) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.

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  (303): I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo. http://tfl.nu/muyk
  Replies (10) Good night (563) Bad night (926) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.

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  (479): PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies. http://tfl.nu/q44j
  Replies (3) Good night (619) Bad night (186)

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