Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
