How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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