Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
