I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
