I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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