its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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