You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
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but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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