Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
