and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
