dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Randomize
