He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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