I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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