why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
