i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
