Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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