her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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